The Power of Opposites: How to Succeed in Your Marriage and Family Nor insPite of, But Because of, Your Differences by Madanes Yechezkel & Madanes Ruth & Kalderon Adizes PhD Ichak

Author:Madanes, Yechezkel & Madanes, Ruth & Kalderon Adizes PhD, Ichak [Madanes, Yechezkel]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: UNKNOWN
Published: 2017-02-04T16:00:00+00:00

The Optimal Family Lifecycle

The optimal lifecycle does not start with (E). It starts with (I). It starts with a deep friendship based on mutual trust and respect. It does not start with romantic infatuation but with deep friendship.

Over time the idea of becoming romantically involved emerges as a result of the loving relationship established. So after (I) comes the (E). Courtship is now (EI). When the couple gets married, (P) emerges. (E) will go down as (P) surges but (I) is there all along.

In the next stage (A) develops, but it is not a crisis because (I) is there regulating all potential conflicts; friendship rules. With high (I), marital problems are easy to solve, and if the family maintains high (E) it stays in Prime forever.

Is It Possible to Avoid Aging and Stay in Prime?

This lifecycle is not inevitable. A marriage can get to Prime and stay in Prime, until the death of one of the spouses. A marriage does not have to go through all the pains described at every stage of the lifecycle. The marriage can advance to Prime fast and well with just a little of the pain that we described here.

What does this advancement depend on? First, the existence (or lack) of the four (PAEI) vitamins. This is a must. Without the four (PAEI) roles it is virtually impossible to create a healthy family culture. It will simply be dysfunctional. Second, the creation and nurturing of mutual trust and respect, not only between the spouses, but also in the family in general.

In Prime there is love, respect, and trust between the spouses. They devote time to charity activities, to supporting the grandchildren. They travel a lot, or take classes in painting, dance, yoga, or whatever. They exercise or get together with friends for a game of cards. It is called aging together beautifully .

The spouses do not have to speak too much. They understand each other, communicating with a glance or a certain look. They know each other so well. They know how not to push the wrong buttons.

How can this behavior be achieved in your family? This is what Part II of this book is all about. Having dedicated Part I to describing and analyzing why families are having problems, in Part II we move into prescriptions about what should be done.

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